In many ways, Emraan Hashmi and Mahesh Bhatt fit the criteria for Bollywood BFFs making it to KJo’s couch – they’re bonded by blood (Mahesh Bhatt is Hashmi’s uncle), Bhatt is a blabbermouth with no love lost in the industry, and Hashmi, while certainly not in the white whale leagues of Salman and Aamir Khan, is the token Johar newbie, the host having just about exhausted the “A list” actor pool of Bollywood half the season in. Unlike many of the duos that have come before them however, Hashmi and Bhatt were a breath of minty freshness, neither apologising for their brand of critically-panned erotic cinema nor pandering to KJo’s cutesy and at times ridiculously leading questioning (like asking Hashmi on national television whether he was a faithful husband). Instead they went Sonam style on the rest of Bollywood, calling out the industry’s overrated hams and on Hashmi’s part, at least showing a rather lusty appreciation for the beauty of his comrades’s wives and girlfriends (except for ahem, Gauri Khan). This, no surprise, made KJo a happy camper indeed, who went so far as to tell them their rapid fire round answers were the best of all seasons ever. In our recap of episodes of season four of Koffee With Karan, we sniff out the bullshit factor, rating it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a crock o’ Leprechaun gold, and 1 being honest-to-God sainthood.
For Someone Who Doesn’t Watch Bollywood Movies…
Hashmi, a serial kisser in such mindbenders as Murder and Murder 2 and Jannat and Jannat 2, said he was a reluctant actor, nudged into the profession by Uncle Bhatt, who’d throw a newspaper at him at 4 in the morning to whoop his ass into shape. Hashmi, married to his high school sweetheart, said that despite the box-office and critical success (he has a Rs40 crore mansion in Pali Hill), he stays clear of Bollywood parties and doesn’t watch Bollywood movies, and is happier for it. Which would be totally believable, if he then didn’t have some chummy advice to give Ranbir Kapoor (to stop playing the lady’s man all the time), before acing the quiz session of the episode, answering correctly who starred in Disco Dancer and Chachi 420. Still, for not knowing who made 3 Idiots aka only India’s biggest box-office success, Hashmi gets bonus points especially since he said he’d like to work with director whathisname, who is now almost guaranteed to get in touch with him.
Murder 2 Was Just Like A Hitchcock Movie
Sadly for Hashmi, he’s not likely to lose the “must kiss” clause of his contract any time soon, mostly thanks to Bhatt, who has made crores from getting Hashmi to make out with leading ladies such as Sunny Leone and Mallika Sherawat. And while Hashmi seemed a bit glum by this inescapable fate – “I always protest when I have to kiss someone in a film,” he said weakly – Bhatt thought it was akin to Hitchcock-ian cinema. “For Murder 2, I told the director to get the kiss out of the way,” said Bhatt. “It’s like a Hitchcock film where you’re always looking for him to make an appearance and when he finally does then you can finally concentrate on the movie.” Yea, exactly like that we think.
The Apple Does Fall Far (But Still Somewhat Close) From The Tree
Remember when Alia Bhatt was on KJo’s couch and said Prithviraj Chavan was India’s president? Well, it’s safe to say that Bhatt Jr. did not in fact inherit her brains from her father, who KJo introduced as one of the “most intelligent minds in the business”. This Bhatt proved through the episode by using words and phrases that we’re willing to bet KJo couldn’t Google quick enough on his handy tablet – words like foibles and frailties, and phrases like “spiritual supermarket” and “dropping acid”. These life experiences Bhatt said made him like the stray dog that somehow makes it around the street in peak hours and still survives. Father and daughter do however share one common trait – a healthy obsession with themselves that Alia attested to via video by saying her father loved to hear people talking about him and often referred to himself in third person.
Tell KJo How You Really Feel…
And he’ll be so so happy. Johar’s face lit up like a beacon on a VIP’s white Honda when Mahesh Bhatt in answer to his stock questions held nothing back, calling Barfi! an overrated film, Sanjay Leela Bhansali an overrated director, Kajol an overrated actress and ranking Aamir Khan at the bottom of the present crop of A list actors. Hashmi followed suit, saying you’d probably find “An Idiot’s Handbook To Succeed In Hollywood” in Sherawat’s bedroom, that Shraddha Kapoor needs to “eat”, that Imran Khan is overrated, Aishwarya Rai is plastic and that, yes he always bitches about other actors.
BULLSHIT FACTOR
Emraan Hashmi 2/10
Mahesh Bhatt 3/10
Karan Johar 7/10
For Someone Who Doesn’t Watch Bollywood Movies…
Hashmi, a serial kisser in such mindbenders as Murder and Murder 2 and Jannat and Jannat 2, said he was a reluctant actor, nudged into the profession by Uncle Bhatt, who’d throw a newspaper at him at 4 in the morning to whoop his ass into shape. Hashmi, married to his high school sweetheart, said that despite the box-office and critical success (he has a Rs40 crore mansion in Pali Hill), he stays clear of Bollywood parties and doesn’t watch Bollywood movies, and is happier for it. Which would be totally believable, if he then didn’t have some chummy advice to give Ranbir Kapoor (to stop playing the lady’s man all the time), before acing the quiz session of the episode, answering correctly who starred in Disco Dancer and Chachi 420. Still, for not knowing who made 3 Idiots aka only India’s biggest box-office success, Hashmi gets bonus points especially since he said he’d like to work with director whathisname, who is now almost guaranteed to get in touch with him.
Murder 2 Was Just Like A Hitchcock Movie
Sadly for Hashmi, he’s not likely to lose the “must kiss” clause of his contract any time soon, mostly thanks to Bhatt, who has made crores from getting Hashmi to make out with leading ladies such as Sunny Leone and Mallika Sherawat. And while Hashmi seemed a bit glum by this inescapable fate – “I always protest when I have to kiss someone in a film,” he said weakly – Bhatt thought it was akin to Hitchcock-ian cinema. “For Murder 2, I told the director to get the kiss out of the way,” said Bhatt. “It’s like a Hitchcock film where you’re always looking for him to make an appearance and when he finally does then you can finally concentrate on the movie.” Yea, exactly like that we think.
The Apple Does Fall Far (But Still Somewhat Close) From The Tree
Remember when Alia Bhatt was on KJo’s couch and said Prithviraj Chavan was India’s president? Well, it’s safe to say that Bhatt Jr. did not in fact inherit her brains from her father, who KJo introduced as one of the “most intelligent minds in the business”. This Bhatt proved through the episode by using words and phrases that we’re willing to bet KJo couldn’t Google quick enough on his handy tablet – words like foibles and frailties, and phrases like “spiritual supermarket” and “dropping acid”. These life experiences Bhatt said made him like the stray dog that somehow makes it around the street in peak hours and still survives. Father and daughter do however share one common trait – a healthy obsession with themselves that Alia attested to via video by saying her father loved to hear people talking about him and often referred to himself in third person.
Tell KJo How You Really Feel…
And he’ll be so so happy. Johar’s face lit up like a beacon on a VIP’s white Honda when Mahesh Bhatt in answer to his stock questions held nothing back, calling Barfi! an overrated film, Sanjay Leela Bhansali an overrated director, Kajol an overrated actress and ranking Aamir Khan at the bottom of the present crop of A list actors. Hashmi followed suit, saying you’d probably find “An Idiot’s Handbook To Succeed In Hollywood” in Sherawat’s bedroom, that Shraddha Kapoor needs to “eat”, that Imran Khan is overrated, Aishwarya Rai is plastic and that, yes he always bitches about other actors.
BULLSHIT FACTOR
Emraan Hashmi 2/10
Mahesh Bhatt 3/10
Karan Johar 7/10
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